Characters

4 African-Caribbean Pensioners

The 4 Pensioners are children of the Windrush generation. They visit the Centre every day as a means of not using their own heating and lighting, preferring to stay in the warmth of the lounge, playing dominoes, doing crosswords & knitting. Bantering & leg-pulling is the central theme of their interactions and this goes on relentlessly. They are fiercely loyal to each other and enjoy their time together as a group – they would be lost without each other. They are also united by a recent threat – that of being deported if they cannot prove they are British citizens.

Brother Leroy – from Jamaica, West Indies
Age 80

Brother Leroy came over on the famous HMS Windrush and this is something he shares with anyone and everyone. Brother Leroy is full of fun and is attracted to Sister Johnson. His best friend is Brother Myers and they have known each other for decades. Brother Leroy considers himself to be the leader of the group and he has strong opinions about everything. An old soldier, he is aided and abetted by Brother Myers in poking gentle fun at Sister Richards & Sister Johnson. The 2 men play dominoes ferociously and small amounts of money pass hands on a regular basis. Brother Leroy is a widower and his wife has been dead 12 years – she was the ‘boss of the marriage’ he is not ashamed to say. Brother Leroy was given a hip flask by his son, for Father’s day. He now carries the hip flask conveniently filled with over proof rum and often pours out a snifter for each of the pensioners on any pretext. All Brother Leroy’s children (4) & grandchildren (9) were born here in the UK. Brother Leroy does not have a UK passport, he came over on his Jamaican mother’s passport. He is extremely worried about being deported and expresses this often.

Brother Myers – from Jamaica, West Indies
Age 79

Brother Myers is a professional moaner, a stickler for tradition and ritual, he has a great friendship and rivalry to Brother Leroy – they have known each other for over 40 years. Brother Myers secretly has a soft spot for Sister Richards but would never admit it. Brother Myers never married and he thinks that this is because he’s too ‘too butch, too macho’, he can’t help it, he gets it from his mother. Brother Myers does have one child, a son, however they are estranged and he never sees him. By the end of the play, he makes an effort to meet his son and manages to arrange a meeting. Brother Myers is outraged whenever he hears the 2 female pensioners discussing their sexual fantasies and asks them to keep ‘the conversation out of the gutter’. Secretly, he wishes he was the subject of their fantasies. Brother Myers has a great respect for the Queen and stands to attention during her Christmas speech.

Brother Myers is fiercely proud of being from Jamaica ‘The rock, the big one’ and anyone else from other Caribbean islands is dismissed as ‘small island people’. Brother Myers has a good voice and takes every opportunity to show off his singing skills. He had the foresight to get a British passport some years ago however one of his cousins has been deported.

Sister Johnson- from Barbados, West Indies
Age 78

Sister Johnson is a feisty grandmother who is used to having things her own way. Sister Richards’ best friend, Sister Johnson regularly does the daily crossword. What does she want? To finish it. She hasn’t had the best education so her stabs at answers are frequently hilariously wide of the mark. The others chip in with help that is often useless. Her secret is that she uses crosswords to improve her literacy. She’s not particularly clever or skillful and she will spend hours on one or two clues that escape her. Secretly, Sister Johnson means well & has her eye on Brother Leroy. Sister Johnson came to the UK on her mother’s passport when she was 6 years old and has never returned to the Caribbean – she doesn’t know anyone out there now and her children and grandchildren were all born in the UK. As a child of the Windrush generation, Sister Johnson is terrified of being deported. Sister Johnson assumed she was a British citizen so having to establish this is causing her a lot of stress. Sister Johnson has 3 children and 6 grandchildren. Sister Johnson has a beautiful voice and bursts into song very often during the day. Sister Johnson is a widow and was married to Herbert, a highly sexed though small in stature man who she misses greatly. Herbert used to hide about the house waiting for her and would pounce on her and shower her with love and affection – she greatly misses all of this.

Sister Richards – from Antigua, West Indies
Age 76

Sister Richards is also a grandmother and unfortunately suffers from a weak bladder that has her up and down to The Community Centre toilets. Also a widow, Sister Richards has a great sense of humor and is very close to Sister Johnson. Sister Richards has one son whom she dotes on and her world revolves around him – her son keeps all her finances straight and keeps all her financial information. Sister Richards has 2 grandchildren and she very often picks them up from school and gives them their evening meal to assist her son and his wife. Sister Richards has now discovered Tena Lady pads so these save her a few trips to the loo. Sister Richards loves Denzel Washington and fantasizes as to how their love life would be. Sister Richards is a regular church goer. Sister Richards also came to the UK as a young girl and often dreams she is playing ‘in the yard, back home’. She can stand up for herself and gives back to the 2 male pensioners whatever they give out. Sister Richards is still attractive and is receiving attention from her young neighbor who has called her a ‘Cougar’ & a ‘Milf’. She is secretly really pleased that ‘the barn door is still open’.

Patience Mensah-Aboagye – African Manager/Receptionist
Age 50’s

Patience loves to think she is the glue that holds The Community Centre together. Outspoken and direct, she readily gives warnings about barring people from the Centre, she’s bossy & opinionated. What she has to say is outrageous. She is garishly dressed in a brightly patterned African-themed outfit. Patience is on the lookout for a rich man, she likes to wear ‘designer from head to toe’ and is searching for someone to make her ‘shiver’. She loves to be in charge and swans about all day poking her nose into other people’s business and dispensing dubious customer service. Patience is a power-mad, rich man-hungry, sassy, self-opinionated woman. She has 5 children, all girls and she loves to tell people she is a single mother. Patience is divorced but she feels that will change at any moment. Patience breaks all the rules and runs the crazy, chaotic community center with the lackadaisical assistance of a white Rasta caretaker as her second in command. Patience loves to be in charge and starts off every day with a tannoy announcement of the day’s activities – woe betide anyone who interrupts her flow. Patience is totally convinced that The Community Centre is the lifeblood of the community and is an indispensable haven for a ‘useless & defunct area’.

Patience used to be an Air Hostess for Flyme Africa and misses those exciting times. She needs a job that allows her to be here for her 5 children so her Air Hostess days are over. She loves to relive them to anyone who will listen. Patience has no filter and will say the most outrageous things and feels that this is her right as Manager slash Receptionist ‘more manager than receptionist’ Patience tells people. Patience is fascinated by Marilyn Monroe and in fact tells people that ‘They used to call me the black Marilyn Monroe’. Who ‘they’ are is never discovered. Patience does an impersonation of Marilyn Monroe and is utterly convinced that she is ‘Just like her!’ Secretly Patience loves her job & being in charge, she glides about all day with her clip board which serves no apparent purpose.

Robbie The Caretaker
Age 30/40’s

Robbie walks & talks like a black guy, he even wears dreadlocks and a Bob Marley Hat. There’s just one small problem, Robbie is white and lives in Fallowfield, not the Ghetto. In fact, Robbie lives nowhere near the ‘hood’, he lives with his mum in a cosy terrace house. Robbie composes dreadful poems & raps all intended to assist the ‘struggle’. Robbie spends the majority of his time in the Caretaker’s room smoking ganja. The music playing is Bob Marley, Robbie’s idol. Robbie knows all Bob Marley’s music, the lyrics, the albums, the concerts, everything. His freedom poem is coming together nicely. Robbie is happy in his own little world.

Robbie is obsessed with Bob Marley and all things black. What does he want? He speaks with a liberal spattering of Bob Marley quotes. Ironically Robbie got the job of Caretaker as the hiring committee, seeing his dreadlocks actually thought he was black (well, really light-skinned black) and they wanted to take on someone from an ethnic minority.

Robbie once saw Bob Marley live, well it was actually a tribute band but the resemblance was brilliant. Robbie considers himself to be a ‘black man trapped in a white man’s body’. Anyone black is of great interest to Robbie and he even tries to build rapport with the Caribbean pensioners who are not the slightest bit impressed by what Robbie has to say. The thing is, Robbie means well, he’s just, well, a bit strange. Robbie & Patience somehow rub along together, so long as Robbie understands that Patience is the boss and he is her assistant. Robbie’s too stoned to care. Robbie is very inexperienced with the ladies but he would never admit it. One day women are going to fall at his feet, just like they did for Bob Marley – after all they have the same first name, ‘Robert’ and loads of other things in common too.